Sunday, June 1, 2014

Writers' Thoughts: What to expect when you move back to your hometown

I've been Googling "blog, we're moving back to our hometown" just so I could read about other people's thoughts and feelings on this prospect we're facing. I've wondered if the things that have been going through my mind are symptomatic character flaws, or if they are indeed natural.

The two following articles I found really spoke to me and helped me find a bit of peace of mind, some reassurance that I'm not a bad or paranoid person. Apparently, it's perfectly natural to experience doubt, irritation, and even a bit of repulsion.

Olivia, How to Survive Moving Back to Your Hometown
The Struggle: People perceive you as the same 18-year old you were when you left.

What was your reputation like when you left?  Chances are, it will be the same when you return.  This, of course, can be good or bad.

What were you known for in high school?  Were you the smart kid?  The athlete?  The kid involved in everything?

Many people will expect you to have those exact same interests and to be just as invested in them now as you were before you left.  This can initially be irritating, especially if you no longer have those interests of long ago.  You might feel offended that they may not really know anything about your current interests.

How to Deal:
First, realize that these kind people mean well.  If they remember what you were like in high school, be grateful that they paid enough attention to your existence to know what you did, and that they are still taking an interest in you.

Reminisce with them about “the old days”, and then offer them a tidbit of information about what you’re currently doing/are involved in/are interested in. This way, you can get re-acquainted with these good people.

If you had developed a bad reputation during your adolescence, then there may be some damage control that needs to be done.  The nice thing is that most people are willing to give second chances.  So if you don’t want the people around you to perceive you as that person you were before, then you can’t stay in the past either. Let them encounter who you are today, and watch the transformation of their opinions unfold.
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6. You Loathe Being Reminded Of Your Unpleasant Behaviors Of Yore.

Whenever I visit, I find myself getting profoundly irritated by the anecdotes of when I was sluttier and drunker and stupider. No one is rubbing it in my face; to them, they are just stories and memories. I always laugh along half-heartedly and try to change subjects about things I would much rather forget...Some of those bruises that should be healed by now never were, they’re still bright black & purple, and you erupt with a startled OUCH when someone touches them all over again, which invariably happens when you are reminiscing with old besties.

2 comments:

  1. I really love this. I am moving back to my hometown and although its been 8 years since I left you always kind of worry about being stuck w your old high school stigma or personality. I think its imperative to focus on the here and now and the present. The past is what it is but we are all different people currently and pretty kick ass ones at that. Hey at the very least we'll be glad to know we already have the best pizza delivery figured out ;)

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  2. Sage perspective, Kelly. :) I intend to take full advantage of my take-out knowledge. And whatever else it takes to keep my kick-ass sense of humor. :D

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